When I thought about writing my op-ed or even brainstorming ideas, I didn’t know if there was space for me in the genre. I’m not witty, I’m not very lighthearted, and my intention with writing is not to mansplain or to simply “assert my domination.” The assignment worried and sickened me: What if I didn’t fit into this genre? What if I didn’t want to fit into this genre?
For the purposes of this assignment, I didn’t have a choice but to start writing. So that’s what I did. I started typing and deleting, typing and deleting. This intro isn’t clever enough; It’s not inviting people in. How can I make this sound more exciting? Relax! Write more effortlessly. They can tell if you’re forcing it. These were the thoughts swirling in my head. I got so frustrated that I started an entirely new document called “I hate this op-ed thing,” and I stared at the new blank page. After a few paces back and forth, I took a deep breath and told myself just write what you want to say, don’t worry about the op-ed part. And there became my first draft.
My peer’s feedback was incredibly kind. But they did notice my serious, not relaxed tone. That’s what I was afraid of.
Even though I felt like the points I was making were important, I was still doubting my place in the genre. I needed some more guidance. So, Heather read my piece, and she told me I was doing absolutely nothing wrong. Sure, I’m not writing in the “typical” style or about a “typical” topic, but isn’t that what I always tend to do in my work anyways? And what does “typical” even mean, and why am I fighting so hard to uphold such power structure? Why let a genre (whatever that really means), a construction built to exclude certain identities and perspectives, rule me?
Heather helped remind me that I do have a place to express my message, claim my argument. She’s urged me not to shy away but to take up space. And by writing my op-ed the way I want to write it, I’m expanding and deconstructing a genre that must include and invite more voices. I felt supported to continue down my unique path.
The final question I have, after completing my piece, is why did I need to struggle to fit into or even make an effort to change what a genre means? Is this genre of op-eds really serving me, or serving any of us? I wonder if my piece could just stand alone as a written work created by me, without being subjected to boundaries or labels. Maybe I should have stuck with my initial disgust and intentionally chose to write genre-less. But the reality is people like order. And maybe order is fine. But order quickly becomes not fine when it places some folks as better, smarter, and superior to others. So now I’m not so sure what to do.